![]() We can numb ourselves through addiction or denial so that we don’t have to face the reality that “hardship is the pathway to peace.” We can expend enormous amounts of emotional energy trying to remake the world as “we would have it,” not as it is. Our work with addiction, struggling marriages, affair recovery, divorce, anxiety, and depression drives home the Truths in this prayer every day.Īs the prayer states, we can get hung up trying to be “supremely happy” in this life. People with whom we work in our practice know that life is not easy and that easy answers and simplistic clichés do more harm than good. As Niebuhr would write, “The tragedy of man is that he can conceive self-perfection but cannot achieve it.” Hence, his clarion call for grace and forgiveness. Niebuhr was a practitioner of what came to be called “Christian Realism.” It is the opposite of both the “pie-in-the-sky” that was, in the words of one critic, “so heavenly minded it was no earthly good,” and the opposite of the naïve and irresponsible “prosperity gospel” that has become so popular in our day and age. When we see that famous first sentence in its full context, the Truths it conveys are much more rich and focused. Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will, that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as the pathway to peace. “God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Its insights are also crucial to work in marriage counseling and many types of individual therapy.īut, did you know that these familiar words are not the whole prayer? Here is the text of the whole prayer as Niebuhr wrote it. ![]() It has become an integral part of most, if not all, work with addiction and those who suffer with anxiety and depression. In the meantime, keep practicing your pause while using Reinhold's words as a prayer, a mantra, a distraction or even a set of instructions to follow in the moment you need peace.Literally millions of people are familiar with the Serenity Prayer: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”Īs we have discussed in our previous blogs, this prayer was composed by pastor and theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the early 1930’s. Just this month the AA Grapevine published a new book, One Big Tent, that's filled with stories of the atheists, agnostics, nonbelievers and secular alcoholics who created a program of recovery that's worked. You may try some research to help you develop a spiritual view that works. You can try on the idea of a Higher Power or you can turn the word God into an acronym, such as: Good Orderly Direction or Group of Drunks. Even the abbreviated version starts with the ask "God, grant me the Serenity." Reinhold's prayer assumes the belief in God - which might make this feel inaccessible to those who are atheist or agnostic. It's amazing what a couple of deep breaths and 10 seconds of pause can do. Just the pause itself can solve a world of problems: take a deep breath and say the prayer to yourself quietly. Practice pausing, sorting through ideas and feelings and discarding the old and unuseful ones to make room for new ways of thinking and acting. These things are easier said than done, which is why the Serenity Prayer is best approached as a practice. Letting Go of Expectations: Taking this sinful world as it is, not as I would have itīe present, have an open mind, let go of your old ideas and believe all will be well. Changing Perspective: Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace Mindfulness and Presence: Enjoying one moment at a time The prayer, crafted by the theologian Reinhold Niebuhr, expounds beautifully on the practice of practicing acceptance while cultivating peace. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,Īnd supremely happy with You forever in the next. ![]() Trusting that You will make all things right, God, give me grace to accept with serenityĪccepting hardship as a pathway to peace, The prayer is widely used in 12-step programs and is imprinted on 12-step coins.īut did you know there's more to it than that? The version popularized in recovery culture and cross-stitch samplers alike is actually just one piece of a larger prayer. Serenity, Courage, Wisdom: The Serenity Prayer is a simple plea for acceptance and action that generates wisdom in how we live our lives. Quilt artwork copyrighted to Mary Nyquist Koons
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